You may have thought that with the passing of Christmas you had heard the last of holiday fruitcakes. Not so fast. It seems as though the winter holidays aren’t the only time for them. Apparently, some fruitcakes last all year long. Brace yourselves because these fruitcakes are a little nuttier than most. The nuts I am referring to are the members of the Voluntary Human Extinction Movement (VHEMT — pronounced “vehement”). With motivational slogans like “May we live long and die out” and “visualize voluntary human extinction,” the label “fruitcake’ fits perfectly.
According to VHEMT’s Volunteers, (a Volunteer is defined as anyone who believes that mankind should voluntarily refrain from producing any offspring to bring about the eventual extinction of the human race), the solution to ending Earth’s ecological woes is simple: get rid of the people! With no more humans around to screw things up, planet Earth will return to her majestic pre-Homo Sapiens self. Millions, if not billions, of species of flora and fauna would be saved from destruction — all at one very low price! Forgive me for not thinking this is the greatest bargain ever offered!
As if VHEMT’s premise of wiping out mankind through advocating at zero reproduction policy wasn’t bad enough, when it comes to human reproduction they even go so far as to claim that remaining childless is the only morally correct decision to make, VHEMT also declares that “our voluntary extinction for the eternal good of all other life on Earth will be the ultimate demonstration of the best qualities of humanity: compassion and reason.” Volunteers of the voluntary human extinction movement decree that other standing population control programs, or ideologies, which would admit some level of human reproduction, are too soft.
Who would have thought that the likes of Zero Population Growth (ZPG), and China with its one-child policy, would be denounced for being too lenient? VHEMT’s website alleges that ZPG’s 1968 founding slogan of “stop at two” was “barely adequate even then” and that their modified statement of today “consider having one or none, and be sure to stop after two” is actually worse because it still encourages the growth and reproduction of the human species.
To their credit, VHEMT opposes China’s one-child policy, albeit not for necessarily good reasons. They object to the policy first on the grounds that the concept is “less than voluntary.” Before you go getting any warm fuzzies over VHEMT’s apparent change of heart (or feel shocked that VHEMT supporters may have a heart), read on. Reason number two for objecting to the Chinese policy is that “even one child is too many.” Intentional procreation, even if only one child, simply cannot be tolerated if Earth’s four, six, eight or one hundred-legged critters are to enjoy a happy, healthy life and a chance at survival in the future.
In order to fill the possible emotional void left by voluntarily not producing any offspring, VHEMT suggests several alternatives to child rearing. These include: “nurturing Earth’s ‘other’ children, wildlife rehabilitation and protection, habitat preservation, reforestation, Adopt-A-Stream, and gardening.” For the less nature-like approach, try “borrowing relatives’ children” or become a member of a “big brother/sister program.” If none of these suggestions float your boat. VHEMT suggests adopting a lighter environmental impact animal companion such as a dog or a cat. They claim that many childfree people find these adoptions to be “emotionally fulfilling.”
For those of you past your childbearing years, fear not. You too can help the VHEMT movement. Your contribution to their goal of a person-free planet can be in the form of retraining from pressuring your own children to produce grandchildren for your spoiling pleasure. You can encourage them to “make a responsible choice with their fertility.” After all, children who aren’t born won’t tax the earth by their very existence, nor will they become victims of starvation or poverty. The way VHEMT sees it, existing children will be “more respected and better cared for as there are fewer of them.” Well, there you go! What more proof do you need that their cause is a good one?
Should you find yourself having the urge to have another child or grandchild any time soon, VHEMT suggests that you fight that desire by planting a tree, weeding the garden or taking a trip to the local pet store to buy yourself a furry companion. Surely you will find this environmentally friendly act to be quite fulfilling and your craving for human companionship will soon pass. If these suggestions don’t help, check out www.vhemt.org for another slice of fruitcake, and more convincing reasons to voluntarily phase yourself out.
