My friend, Femi Ajayi, a UNICEF communication consultant on HIV/AIDS, has always tried to persuade me to use my skills as a communicator to join in UNICEF’s Massive Awareness Raising Campaign (MARC) on the AIDS virus. Under this campaign, the public is to be made aware of the simple ABC formula that can save individuals and humanity from the ravages of the fast-conquering virus. A stands for Abstinence from sex before marriage; B means Be faithful when married and C represents the use of Condom if you cannot abstain or be faithful to your partner.
Condoms to Defeat AIDS?
I have always told Femi that if I must join in the campaign, I will advocate for only A and B but that I will never counsel anyone to use condoms. My-friend has always dismissed my point of view as “unrealistic,” arguing that people require “complete and realistic” information if the HIV/AIDS pandemic is to be conquered.
Each time we meet and this issue comes up, we will argue on it for hours. We both depart, more firmly set in our conviction either for or against the use of condoms.
Condom Attitude
Our attitude to the condom is a reflection of our entire attitude to sex. It shows our belief that although sex is a strong instinct in any normal human being, we have an inbuilt ability to show restraint by having it only with those to whom we have lawful ties. This is the side to which this writer belongs.
On the other side is the belief that sex is such a powerful instinct in man and woman that no one can be expected to have the willpower to resist the urge so there is need for the use of condom to avoid trouble. This is the side of Femi Ajayi, UNICEF and other NGOs.
Since sex is of such vital importance either for the survival or destruction of mankind, the dispute between Femi and me must leave the friendship domain to the public one so that others can have a chance to decide whether they are for me or for Mr. Ajayi.
Godless Modernity
There are two great forces at work in our world today and both of them have great bearing on our attitude to sex. The first of them is godless modernity. In the mistaken notion that we are advancing from a severely restricting past to times of liberty, freedom and unlimited happiness, modern media of mass communication rabidly promote the gratification of fleshly desire, as the ultimate end of happiness or “enjoyment.”
Satan and his agents promote sex as something one cannot do without and that it is most enjoyable when it is done outside legal bounds. The results of this sinister promotion are the rich harvests of sexually transmitted diseases we have today, abortion and the destruction of wombs through it, deaths from incompetent abortions, shame from unwanted pregnancies and other ills arising from improper gratification of the sexual desire.
Self-Indulgent Mankind
The other force stresses self-restraint, self-discipline, self-denial, purity, holiness and a fear of God. This moral force admits that sex is powerful but it also says that you can keep it in check. It acknowledges that man is made of flesh and blood but that he is also endowed with knowledge of good and bad, of right and wrong. It recognizes that a good number of people in the world today are given to self-indulgence. I am of the deep conviction that leaders must be prepared to advocate unpalatable truths if we are to advance the course of reforming our world. We must be ready to reprove popular sins. We must not be afraid to be thought of as old-fashioned.
One of the unpalatable truths UNICEF, Femi Ajay and others must tell the world is that there is a spirit in us which can help us keep our sex urge in check. They must tell the public that the only way we can win the battle against AIDS is recourse to the primitive values of abstinence and faithfulness. Even a lukewarm recognition of the condom is a tacit approval for fornication and adultery. It is not a “realistic” recognition of human weakness.
Condoms NOT Foolproof
Time and again, researchers have proved that the condom is not a hundred percent reliable against pregnancy or diseases. Why therefore must an organization like UNICEF be part of a campaign that gives the unwary a false sense of security? Even if the condom is foolproof, why must the impression be created that purity and discipline are impossible to expect from anybody? We humans love to complicate matters for ourselves and turn around to wonder whether God has abandoned us. God gave us a free will and He respects the choices that we make. If you call upon Him to strengthen you in an area you are weak in, He will. But if you give Him the impression that you can do things your own way, He will let you go ahead. If by that choice you reap happiness or sadness, that is your own portion.
Advocating the use of condoms is granting people the license to engage in forbidden pleasure. UNICEF, Mr. Ajayi and company should leave out the C from the ABC.
The End of our Civilization?
We must let people realize that our civilization may come to an end through an undisciplined attitude towards sex. We must stress that young persons who are not yet married should abstain from sex; those who are married should remain faithful to their spouses till death do them part.
Let us channel national, international and individual energies to this line of campaign. If people are encouraged or mobilized to have the willpower to restrain illicit sex urges, there would not be need for illegitimate sex which would necessitate the use of condoms.
Do I sound like I am advocating a utopian world? Well, the choice is ours. We came into this world through the sex act which we had no power to control. If we choose to depart this world in an untimely manner through the sex act which we now can exercise control over, that choice is ours. Western civilization has led us to a dead end, a cul dc sac. The sensible option is to return to primitive values of purity, faithfulness and self-discipline.
Mr. Alibi, a former editor of Sunday Chronicle, lives in Abuja, Nigeria. This article first appeared in the Nigerian Daily Trust.
